#4 Final Reaction

After releasing my survey about Polygamy on Facebook, I honestly did not think I would get many responses as I did, because I made the assumption that a lot of people do not know what polygamy is.  I ended up receiving 41 responses!  Out of these 41 responses 31 of them were between the ages of 12-19, and 10 of them were over 20.  I originally thought that more adults would respond to this survey over the amount of teenagers that did only because I assumed that they would have strong views about this topic.  When I got my results back for the question that states "does polygamy go against societal values?" out of the four people that said no, three of them were between the ages of 17-18.  This was a prior observation that my survey proved to be true, because I thought that younger people would be more accepting of this form of love because we are growing up in a different generation than our parents did.

For people who are effected the most by polygamy it seemed to be very close between the wife, and her children.  I personally agree that children are effected the most in this type of family.  Something that surprised me greatly was how legalizing polygamy and gay marriage did not intertwine with each other as well as I thought they would.  I originally thought that if people were accepting of gay marriage that they would be accepting of polygamy as well because I would think that they had an understanding of universal love.  The results showed that most people who said yes to gay marriage, said no to polygamy.  Something that I was not surprised about was that a little over half of the people said that their description of love did not fit the practice of polygamy.  Even though a lot of descriptions had to do with the unity of two people and loving each other unconditionally.

Overall, my results are what I expected for the most part.  I am happy with them, and I am extremely happy with my research.  I loved embracing the fact that I had an opportunity to research something that was once a foreign subject to me.  Learning about different types of relationships and how they differ from a typical monogamous relationship is something that really holds my interest.  If I had to go back and pick another topic I would not do it.  I genuinely enjoyed learning about polygamy, and the happiness and daily struggles that come to these people who practice it.

#3 Revised Summary/Plan/Update

3. I had to change around some of my questions and the WAY that I asked them. I had to be very specific as to what I was trying to get out of the question. That is why I placed the basic questions such as, age, religion, and state towards the end of the survey. I did this because lets say I put these questions at the beginning of my survey, and people were dealing with the one that asked about religion, they would automatically believe that they would have to answer these questions so that it coincided with what is morally correct according to their religious affiliation. That is not the point of this survey the point is to get honest and genuine feedback from people, and see how much my research relates to the reactions and level of acceptance that people show towards this practice. I also made a minor change for my scale questions. I was originally going to do a scale from 1-10, but realized that my questions are not broad enough for that many options.

#2 Details About My Polygamy Survey

I will be releasing a survey on Facebook explaining the details of the project and what I am trying to accomplish using the responses of these surveys.  I am hoping to get one age group of kids my age (around 17), as well as an age group that involves happily married couples (around 40).  I think that it will be interesting to see the acceptance rate of the people who are happily married and understand the true concept of love, as apposed to teenagers who may view Polygamy in a more skeptical way.  Since it is a radical practice, and strays far from the norm it will be interesting to see how many people, if any, accept this practice.  I believe that more married women and men, as well as any people who believe in gay rights will be more opened and accepting of Polygamy.  The only reason I mention people who are accepting of gay rights is because they have completely understood that love is a universal feeling, and does not have to be limited to only a man and a woman. 

Putting Polygamy to the Test

In order to apply my research to the opinions of others, I am going to create a survey with about fifteen questions about Polygamy.  Since many people are unaware of what Polygamy even is the first question will simply be "Do you know what Polygamy is?"  If the answer is no, then they can flip to the back of the survey sheet and a detailed definition about Polygamy will be provided for them.  I am going to give a majority of these surveys to a range of teenagers, but I am also going to give it to both men and women who are married, and see which age group is more opened and accepting of such a different and radical type of culture.  I think it will be very interesting to see the different rates of acceptance within these age groups!

My Final Views of Polygamy

I have come a long way from not even knowing what the word Polygamy meant, to knowing specific situations of polygamous families after doing much research.  I personally really enjoyed learning about this topic, it extremely interesting, and there was something new that I learned every time that I published a blog post.  I was very skeptical about Polygamy when I was first introduced to what it was.  I could not understand how these families functioned, and how any reward of happiness came out of these situations, but my views have changed completely.  Not only do I fully appreciate that people are able to be so different and still cary such pride, but I admire these people for standing up for what they believe in.

I believe that love within these families and these radical situations should not be judged by any means. In no way, shape, or form are these people, hurting, degrading, or disturbing anyone else.  It may be weird and uncomfortable for many, but this is how these people express love for another person/people.  Loving more than one person and being apart of a unified family with everyone working together to make things work is what these people enjoy.  I also learned that a lot of people who practice polygamy grew up in a polygamous family themselves, so for many it is really all that they know.  We automatically think as outsiders that this is weird, unusual, and not morally right but just like these practicers don't judge monogamous marriages, we should not judge their way of loving just because it is different and does not fit the social norm.

I also discovered through my research that a big portion of the supporters of this practice come from gay-rights organizations.  We can draw the connection between these two groups in the area that states that they stray from societal norms.  I think at this point with gay-marriage being legal in 17 states, we can agree that just because the marriage is between people of the same gender, doesn't mean that they love each other any less or differently that opposite sex marriages.  Being accepting of all people is something that our society needs to work on as a whole.  Judgement and the urge to ridicule is something that comes easily to the human condition unfortunately, but part of making peace within our country and our society in general is being accepting.

L.O.V.E.

© Jeremy Vega

L, is for the Laughter I give to you every day 
knowing you'll never go away

O, is for the Options we'll have when were together 
knowing our love couldn't get any better

V, is for the Visions I have of you 
knowing I'll never find anyone quite like you

E, is for Everything that's true I've every said 
especially when I said "we'll be together till were dead"

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/love-16#ixzz2vYJlIC3L 

Above is a poem that I found online about love that specifically appealed to me.  While keeping this in mind I tried not to restrict my thoughts to just love shared between a man and a woman.  I thought about the loving relationship shared by a mother and her daughter, a wife and her husband, a gay, married couple, and people in polygamous families.  Regardless of what you practice or believe in, the meaning and feeling of love does not change.  Love to one person may feel differently than love to next person, but it serves the same purpose.  It is a human emotion to feel love, and to feel the joy and comfort that love provides.

This bring me back to the "live and let live" idea that i've touched upon in earlier posts.  After studying and researching polygamous societies and many different families, I believe that their should not be restriction put on love.  If you find love and acceptance out of a polygamous family, then so be it.  No one else can tell you what is morally just and what is not, only you can decide that for yourself.  Acts of polygamy come with many negativities, but all relationships have their issues, and if you love the person or people you are dealing with, then you will do everything in your power to work things out.  Love is patient, kind, and unlimited.  If we were only capable of loving one person in our lives (ex: only loving your mother), than we would be restricted on the beautiful relationships that God intended for us to create. 

The Perils of Polygamy

The Perils of Polygamy

Because polygamy is a lifestyle for those who practice it, just like a monogamous marriage, every relationship is different.  About 85% of societies have experienced polygamy in their communities.  Supporters of same sex marriage play a big role in the process of trying to legalize polygamy.  A lot of people don't know that polygamy actually comes in three different forms of relationships, polygyny, polyandry, and polygynandry.  Polygyny is the most well known form of polygamy where there are many two or more wives and one husband in the relationship.  Polygandry is basically the opposite, where two or more husbands share one wife.  This form of polygamy is pretty radical and is not seen very often.  In most situations like this, two brothers marry one wife.  Lastly, polygynandry is the practice where at least two wives marry at least two husbands, but they all share a relationship.

I thought that this article was extremely interesting because it is very shocking when you first discover that polygamy comes in a variety of forms.  As outsiders, we see the power struggles between the senior and junior wives in polygyny.  The senior wives are viewed as superior and more knowledgeable, while they still feel intrigued by the junior wives because they are younger (usually early twenties), and are new to the family.  I was always very bias about this topic of polygamy because it is something that I’ve never experienced, so I think, who am I to judge?  Now that I have been exposed to the ideas of polygynandry and polyandry, I am starting to become a bit more skeptical.  I don’t see how a brother marrying one wife could have the potential to be successful.  I would imagine that these offspring might acquire much confusion and difficulties throughout their lifetime, having two father figures who happen to be brothers.

Polygynandry is also something that is fairly difficult for me to wrap my head around.  I personally don’t understand how you could create a family that involves two or more wives, and two or more husbands all sharing the same relationships.  This is an extremely rare form of polygamy, but I can just imagine the constant power struggle and confusion that these families may have on a day-to-day basis.  I am a very firm believer in the saying, “live and let live,” but I think that somewhere society and ethical morals should draw the line.  I understand that all of these practices are illegal, although, I can’t comprehend how some people view this to be the CORRECT way to live.