My Final Views of Polygamy

I have come a long way from not even knowing what the word Polygamy meant, to knowing specific situations of polygamous families after doing much research.  I personally really enjoyed learning about this topic, it extremely interesting, and there was something new that I learned every time that I published a blog post.  I was very skeptical about Polygamy when I was first introduced to what it was.  I could not understand how these families functioned, and how any reward of happiness came out of these situations, but my views have changed completely.  Not only do I fully appreciate that people are able to be so different and still cary such pride, but I admire these people for standing up for what they believe in.

I believe that love within these families and these radical situations should not be judged by any means. In no way, shape, or form are these people, hurting, degrading, or disturbing anyone else.  It may be weird and uncomfortable for many, but this is how these people express love for another person/people.  Loving more than one person and being apart of a unified family with everyone working together to make things work is what these people enjoy.  I also learned that a lot of people who practice polygamy grew up in a polygamous family themselves, so for many it is really all that they know.  We automatically think as outsiders that this is weird, unusual, and not morally right but just like these practicers don't judge monogamous marriages, we should not judge their way of loving just because it is different and does not fit the social norm.

I also discovered through my research that a big portion of the supporters of this practice come from gay-rights organizations.  We can draw the connection between these two groups in the area that states that they stray from societal norms.  I think at this point with gay-marriage being legal in 17 states, we can agree that just because the marriage is between people of the same gender, doesn't mean that they love each other any less or differently that opposite sex marriages.  Being accepting of all people is something that our society needs to work on as a whole.  Judgement and the urge to ridicule is something that comes easily to the human condition unfortunately, but part of making peace within our country and our society in general is being accepting.

L.O.V.E.

© Jeremy Vega

L, is for the Laughter I give to you every day 
knowing you'll never go away

O, is for the Options we'll have when were together 
knowing our love couldn't get any better

V, is for the Visions I have of you 
knowing I'll never find anyone quite like you

E, is for Everything that's true I've every said 
especially when I said "we'll be together till were dead"

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/love-16#ixzz2vYJlIC3L 

Above is a poem that I found online about love that specifically appealed to me.  While keeping this in mind I tried not to restrict my thoughts to just love shared between a man and a woman.  I thought about the loving relationship shared by a mother and her daughter, a wife and her husband, a gay, married couple, and people in polygamous families.  Regardless of what you practice or believe in, the meaning and feeling of love does not change.  Love to one person may feel differently than love to next person, but it serves the same purpose.  It is a human emotion to feel love, and to feel the joy and comfort that love provides.

This bring me back to the "live and let live" idea that i've touched upon in earlier posts.  After studying and researching polygamous societies and many different families, I believe that their should not be restriction put on love.  If you find love and acceptance out of a polygamous family, then so be it.  No one else can tell you what is morally just and what is not, only you can decide that for yourself.  Acts of polygamy come with many negativities, but all relationships have their issues, and if you love the person or people you are dealing with, then you will do everything in your power to work things out.  Love is patient, kind, and unlimited.  If we were only capable of loving one person in our lives (ex: only loving your mother), than we would be restricted on the beautiful relationships that God intended for us to create. 

The Perils of Polygamy

The Perils of Polygamy

Because polygamy is a lifestyle for those who practice it, just like a monogamous marriage, every relationship is different.  About 85% of societies have experienced polygamy in their communities.  Supporters of same sex marriage play a big role in the process of trying to legalize polygamy.  A lot of people don't know that polygamy actually comes in three different forms of relationships, polygyny, polyandry, and polygynandry.  Polygyny is the most well known form of polygamy where there are many two or more wives and one husband in the relationship.  Polygandry is basically the opposite, where two or more husbands share one wife.  This form of polygamy is pretty radical and is not seen very often.  In most situations like this, two brothers marry one wife.  Lastly, polygynandry is the practice where at least two wives marry at least two husbands, but they all share a relationship.

I thought that this article was extremely interesting because it is very shocking when you first discover that polygamy comes in a variety of forms.  As outsiders, we see the power struggles between the senior and junior wives in polygyny.  The senior wives are viewed as superior and more knowledgeable, while they still feel intrigued by the junior wives because they are younger (usually early twenties), and are new to the family.  I was always very bias about this topic of polygamy because it is something that I’ve never experienced, so I think, who am I to judge?  Now that I have been exposed to the ideas of polygynandry and polyandry, I am starting to become a bit more skeptical.  I don’t see how a brother marrying one wife could have the potential to be successful.  I would imagine that these offspring might acquire much confusion and difficulties throughout their lifetime, having two father figures who happen to be brothers.

Polygynandry is also something that is fairly difficult for me to wrap my head around.  I personally don’t understand how you could create a family that involves two or more wives, and two or more husbands all sharing the same relationships.  This is an extremely rare form of polygamy, but I can just imagine the constant power struggle and confusion that these families may have on a day-to-day basis.  I am a very firm believer in the saying, “live and let live,” but I think that somewhere society and ethical morals should draw the line.  I understand that all of these practices are illegal, although, I can’t comprehend how some people view this to be the CORRECT way to live.